emotional ups and downs of a management student (unedited)

College in general has been a tumultuous journey, and it's when you're at the middle of all the strokes of hits and punches that you just want to stop, breathe and contemplate on what's been happening-- retrospectively assessing the two or three years that have gone, and figuring out what to do next and if continuing to walk on the path you chose is still worth the adventure. I've been having my share of this bustle.

Upon browsing a tedious required reading I have for my subject Sociology and Anthropology two nights before a long exam, I've finally found the right words that fit what I feel about my course, BS Management.

"...labor is not the satisfaction of a need; it is merely a means to satisfy needs external to it."
Thank you, Karl Marx, for giving me this sentence without having to kill a brain cell. :)

Why did I choose Management in the first place?

Due to the lack of curricula I knew when I was in high school, those that I chose when I took the test in Ateneo, UP and La Salle (I got an exam permit for UST, but I ditched it. :\) just revolved around legal management, business management, accountancy and psychology. I never knew what management engineering, communications and technology, literature or even pharmacy was. My last year in high school was just too dramatic that planning for college was forgotten. I was torn between management and legal management, but I thought I was mentally unprepared for the demands of a pre-law course (although it was my first-choice-turned-second-choice-at-the-last-minute-of-filling-up-the-ACET-form).

I also found my comfort zone in Math. Relying on hearsays, I thought I'd excel in management which they said is conducive for number lovers.

What were the other courses I initially wanted, but didn't consider it on a serious level?

Culinary Arts was an ambition. I never had the love for food, until Chef See of Enderun Colleges made his talk on one of our career orientations before entering college. I was amazed with the photos of different cuisines, and the lush bouncing (with some splash of water droplets) strawberries on his video presentation are still clear in memory. =P~

Something like this, although this certainly does NOT justify the unreal strawberries on the video. :)) :P

But it had to remain a dream when I thought I could not afford letting go of a bigger dream, studying in Ateneo. I thought it wasn't worth the opportunity cost to exchange my Ateneo dreams for something else. I will never ever regret studying in Ateneo, but the course I took is always being put to question.

My Dreams Now
Finally, I've narrowed down my dream careers to two: to be a Businessman or a Professor. Sometimes, I also consider being a chef or a photographer or a choreographer (an abandoned talent). But the emotional turmoil isn't just brought about by the multiple careers I dream of; it was also a shift in interests while in college.

I've blogged before about my sudden interest in poetry and literature, those which I get dizzy when I think of back when I was in high school. I blame this shift in interest to my BOMBASTIC humanities professors in Ateneo. It's true that they are probably the greatest assets of the institution, and I am a witness to it (and a victim of their wrath) firsthand. I now kinda lost the magical climax with numbers and have constantly tried improving and exposing myself to literature.

But the biggest delusion I am having is the thought that I can be a successful businessman, professor, chef, choreographer and photographer ALL at the same time.


Not that I'm doubting my skills and capabilities, but I know how hard it takes to study and be the best at just one of those four.

I often think that culinary arts and photography can remain an extra-curricular, that I can have them as side dishes, that it wouldn't demand too much cognition to understand everything about it, that I can study these while I am in ateneo, pursuing a money-making career. And after having a good job and earn money, then I can do whatever I want. No money, no honey, but will I be happy with my Job?

I now feel exactly how the statement explains it-- that labor without passion in it is just a way to fulfill another appetite external to it. I hear myself a lot of times saying the statement "Magpapayaman na lang ako, tapos saka ako magcuCulinary Arts, magphoPhotography, magsasayaw at kung anu-ano pa. Para may pang gastos ako sa kahit anong gusto kong gawin." It's often the reality I face as a management student, especially when facing all these majors-- accounting, statistics, economics,etc-- which require little or no creativity. It's sad when I think about it, but is it too late to change my career?

Too late or not, I don't have plans on changing my course. First, setting aside the efforts I will put to waste, I definitely don't want to waste my parents' money. Second, I don't consider only the self-pleasure from the career I choose; I want my family, present and future, to also have the comfortable life I experienced. And third, I still believe that I can still find my niche in a corporation-- probably a marketing or external relations manager while to still be able to fulfill my other dream careers (or maybe activities is a better word). Maybe I haven't experienced yet the perks or the fun in managing a business, and I know, I'll still be able to find the fun in it. As for my other dream jobs, they can wait. ;)

Although sometimes in doubt that I won't be able to learn much about it after 20 years old, I believe that I still can learn Photography and Culinary Arts even after being bombarded with balance sheets and graphs. If I can survive Management in Ateneo (with flying colors), why can't I survive these other interests that I am more than willing to learn? Being a poet or a writer is, of course, out of the question (because my brain still cannot handle such job. I have the hugest respect for writers). Maybe, the sad reality of office work is only a portion of a bigger and better reality of sacrificing creativity to have a good life. Maybe, i am just disenchanted by the "fun" side of culinary arts or photography and the like. Maybe, Maybe, Maybe...

These maybe's will continue to make life a lot exciting. Luckily, I can still cope up with the thrill of school and am still able to dodge and stomach the punches. Soon, I'll be able to answer these maybe's. But for now, I'll continue with what I have, and make the best out of it. ;)

Lucky Day!

NOT. This has got to be one of my most unfortunate days ever.

I've been justifying since the moment I woke up that this day is a reminder from God that not everything goes the way I want it to be. Or maybe it's a calling that I've been blessed so much already that it needs to be counteracted by some unfortunate events. Baka masyado nang maraming magandang pangyayari saken. Give chance to others daw.

On a serious note, this day wasn't good to me. To start things off, I missed my first class (7:30am) where I had prepared for a long test. It was 2am when I slept last night, and add to that were two other consecutive all-nighters for other exams. Because I planned my "sleep" to just be a "nap," I set my alarm at 3:30am, and forgot to remind my yayas to wake me up at 5:30am just in case. Unfortunately (i think this will be the magic word for this post), I overslept and woke up at 7:40am. Did I cry? Of course not... :-"

I missed the long exam which I hoped would compensate for my missed quiz when I went to HK. But then again, it didn't go according to plan.

I also missed my "prayer session" for the second class, theology. I was assigned to lead the prayer today and "magis"-ly prepared for a music video and a poem. Maybe magis-ing isn't such a good idea if you do it every night. :|

And add to the injury (literally) was our supposedly fun and unwinding badminton session after all the frustrations I/we have gone through. And because we were in career mode while playing, we would literally do anything to win the game, thus empowered by the idiom "break a leg." AND I DID!

There was a premonition though. As I climb the stairs while drinking, I missed a step. There were some people who saw my clumsiness. Itinawa ko na lang habang tumakbo palayo. :))

I sprained my ankle, tore a ligament within that area. It happened when I ran for a drop shot (thanks to chuck tibayan) and had to make a sudden halt. Yes, I was able to get the drop shot (FTW!) but UNFORTUNATELY, my ankle twisted and it made the "CRRRRRCK" sound. First thought that came to my mind? "Asan yung paa ko?!" hahahaha. Out of fear, I refused looking at my foot, thinking the ankle is still twisted and it has not yet come back to its normal position, or that my detached foot is lying somewhere on the court. It was my first time to experience an injury (that does not involve bloodshed).

On a brighter note, it happened during our last set of the game, when the score was 19-15 in favor of us, and two minutes remain before our court reservation ends. And bang, it was a smashing end. I wanted an encore... KNOCK ON STURDY WOOD.

Maybe the best way to deal with it is to laugh at my whole lucky day instead of ranting and do tantrums over it. When the P.T. even asked me to walk four steps to make sure that it's not critical, I did my runway walk. B-) Now, I've broken my vow that I would allow any leg injury if and only if it was due to dancing. But at least, natupad ang pangarap ko... Makakagamit na rin ako sa wakas ng saklay!

Temporary Shutdown

School has been so laborious that I'm finding it hard to keep up with my blog. The stress never ends, schoolwork after schoolwork. I've been keeping records of my thoughts in my phone for future blogging ideas. I just want to make sure that my brain farts are still retrievable in case I'm in the mood to write on my cyber journal. But for the remaining school days, I foresee stagnation of my blog.

Although stressful, school has never been this philosophical. I often get orgasms from mental masturbations. My subjects have been so informative with these brain-wrecking ideologies that clash with each other. Makes you want to tag all your professors along with you and let them explain to each other those intersecting, overlapping (and most often radical) ideas they've been teaching us.

I love going to school. I love learning and knowing there is more to learn.

But I want to rest sleep and eat without any worries. HAKUNA MATATA: i hope this philosophy still exists. :\

And if ever I push through with my plans of going for the Junior Term Abroad, it won't get any better for me for the next 14-15 months. Iisipin ko na lang... Ham yan. :\

Starter Songs of 2011

Only three weeks has passed for 2011 and a lot of new songs have been playing on the radio. I've heard a handful new and in-demand songs on the radio a week ago in just a day or two. It's exacerbating my expectations for songs of 2011!

Props to Britney, she's been in and out of the limelight, yet when she does get in it, it's a walk in the park. If I am not mistaken, this song, during its release, shot up to first place on the billboard hot 100 without any MV for the song yet. People have been downloading it and requesting for it on radios. They love her this much, and even though I am not a big fan, I was unable to escape the catching power of the song.





I honestly missed Avril's distinct voice. I felt bad for her OST for Alice in Wonderland. I guess this song represents her personality, since she admitted that she's more of a girly girl than a rocker chick. But isn't it all too juvenile for her age? I (and my sister) have noticed that ever since her divorce, her songs have turned to being jolly and carefree. It's still Avril, and I would still love to listen to her songs, but I kinda miss her songs like I'm with you or Complicated especially when she plays it acoustic.

Rihanna, kaya ka nabubugbog ng syota mo eh... :)) This song isn't new, but it aired just this year on radios, although I've heard this on TV. A cable channel (not sure if Starworld, Lifestyle Channel or Velvet) uses this on its channel commercial. It's part of her 2010 album Loud. But you see its resemblance to Love the Way You Lie? hahaha. But honestly, it's the most catchy song among the three. I imagine hearing it play on fashion shows, or clubs and everyone's on their feet. \:D/ And I relate to her fetish... Chains and whips excite me. :>:> hahaha kidding.

This one I heard on Youtube, when one of my friends posted this on Twitter. It's an undone song plus it's a remix, BUT I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE RELEASE OF THE SONG! :| I've been missing Lady Gaga for the longest time, PLUS, I took for foreign languages class Deutsch. Ich verstehe nur ein bisschen Deutsch, aber meine Schwester spricht gut Deutsch (i hope i got that right.). It excites me more that I get to sing German lines from a song without having to sing a German song!!! Haha. And Scheiße simply means crap. :D

There are other songs this year such as Daydreamer (where in the middle of the song it becomes electronified. Totally ruins the song for me), and Nothing by The Script (my favorite so far) that easily catch listener's attention. I'm hoping for a good year for the music industry this 2011. \:D/ it's all hyped up now.

Intermission (from studying)

I noticed how many of my "friends" on Facebook love ranting online, purging emotional baggage and throwing them to their cyber bin, most of which are school-related. It's pretty much obvious for my college (and sometimes high school) friends to rant about the difficulty of studying, especially that most of them come from the better schools.

It seems to me now that Facebook is more than a social networking site for most of us. Our personal use of it has turned it into a luggage of frustrations, a cockfight-catfight arena, et cetera, et cetera... et cetera. :|

Kesyo napakaraming gagawin, napakahirap ng subjects na tinetake, papers, quizzes, midterms, exams... These are understatements, let alone the @$&#*($#( and the notorious usage of !!!!!!!! and evolution of emoticons for frustrations.

Do people satisfy themselves by clamoring about all these online?
Some might say, magtrabaho ka nalang kesa mag-inarte/magdabog/ngumawa ka diyan, but many people work better after they blab. It's their way of catharsis, something similar to what I ironically am doing right now.

Do they intend to inform people of how much stuff they have to do to brag?

Or is it their way of looking for sympathy from other people who might be in the same situation as theirs?

I know some people who go to class, rave about how they did nothing but watch TV at home and Facebook (as a verb), but have these piles of index cards with notes on them. Is it their way of exaggerating agony to justify their failure, or better yet, underscore their success?

Sometimes, the optimistic outlook in dealing with these problems and putting it in writing can be other people's inspiration.

I've been through this stage. I am FULLY guilty of such blabbering. But I'm gradually graduating from it. Not that it's bad, but habitual ranting can piss other people off.

It's not that I start to realize how intelligent or blessed with sagacity I am (although... hehe, a bit) because definitely, I'm not the brightest of the bright. Maybe it's more of realizing how blessed I am with the good attitude in dealing with troubles. What you think is colossal can be a mere insignificant task.

TINK PASITIB!! :> Ranting is good. Letting it out is helpful. But to be clouded with so many negativities can be suffocating.

Literary Hiatus

I've been craving for some literary consumption for the past few days, but my schedule won't allow me. I seem to be having some sort of practical atheism, but inclined to the literary aspect. Suspending all the movies and books on my list because "more important" readings have to be accomplished for school purposes...

What if I shift to BA Literature? I get to do what I want and what I need at the same time.

But I "was" more of a walking Abacus than an Encyclopedia. That I finally found chemistry with literature is a mixture of accomplishment and frustration; it was only during college that I had enthusiasm for literary writings-- a late bloomer perhaps? It's the feeling of "you can't teach old dogs AMAZING new tricks" because I'm not too old, but I'm also not as young as when others had that hook on lit.

I'm torn between being a wealthy businessman and being a scholar. It's a clash between what I think I am good at, and what I think will feed my inner appetite.

What to do what to do what to do? Definitely, shifting is out of the question. I love my course, and I have to admit to myself that manipulating numbers is still my forte (or maybe I'm just having that "big fish in a small pond" kind of thing) over manipulating words.

I guess I'd have to be filthy richer sooner or later, and be successful with whatever I am good at.
Rationalization: I'll use my mathematical talent to give me the opportunity to feed my literary urge! :>

I'm still bano at lit. I guess I'd have to settle to just being a lit aficionado and stop daydreaming of becoming a literary scholar.

Paris and Nicole's Creation Story

Disclaimer: I do not mean to insult anyone or miscommunicate the Bible's preachings. This is purely fictional, and merely a sudden spurt of imagination.


This morning, we were asked to discuss among groups the literal sense and interpretation of the first four chapters of Genesis: The creation story up until Cain and Abel's story. I was lucky enough to have group mates who have active imaginations, and most importantly, who could tolerate mine (haha). After a long and fun discussion of the literal (let me reiterate that) meaning of the two existing creation stories, we had "FUN" talking about the creation and the fall of man.

Our thoughts led to man's naivety, the possible absolute senselessness of good and evil from the beginning or merely having some sense of it but insufficient if we look back at them as if they were unrefined. Then the thought of "were they like blondes?" prompted my contemplation on the Creation Story, Paris and Nicole version (also with the help of my group mates. Thank you Lamberto Lauengco, Aldrin Perez, Justine Sanchez and Chuck Tibayan).

(And again, I don't mean this to be offensive.)


What if Paris and Nicole were the first bff's made on earth?
Whoever was the first one, either way, God would've found it easy to take out a rib from their body.

What could possibly be their reaction when...
They saw each other after creation?
-"Wow, so you're like, a copycat of me? you're the first one i saw today. That's hot"


They talked to the serpent?
-"So you, like, talk like this to everyone else? That's hot"
-"Can you be my pet? like, i'm gonna name you Tinkerbell. Ooooh that's hot"

They saw the fruit of knowledge of  good and bad?
-"Isn't that like, the apple that we ate a while ago? That's hot"


They realized they were naked?
-"Were you naked the whole time we were together? That's hot"


God made leather garments, with which he clothed them?
-"That's hot"


But what could've happened if they ate the fruit of knowledge of good and bad? I think we wouldn't have had to suffer the consequences.

Paris: "But Gooood, we didn't 'eat' eat it. We like, threw it up after we ate it. What's that term again, Nicole? Bulimic? So yeah."
Nicole: "I think I'm gonna throw up already, Paris"
Paris: (we all know what she's gonna say)

How could they possibly procreate?
Let's not go there, shall we?


Soooo... Bulimia could've had its perks, right? :)) I'm sorry, I know it may be offensive or not even funny AT ALL for others. But as they say, when thoughts come about, put it in writing before they flee your minds.

And for everyone who has not yet read the bible or thinks that they know every detail on the bible, try rereading it, now that I know most of us can read it above its literal level. It's Hot. ;)

So many things to do, so little time

Naisin ko mang makatapos ng isang buong blog ngayon tungkol sana sa mga fireworks na aking nakuhanan sa nakalipas na bagong taon, hindi ko ito magawa. Babad ako sa mga takda hindi lamang para sa aking sarili kundi pati na rin iyong nahinging pabor sa akin ng kaibigan at kapamilya. Nais ko man sanang magpasabog bago magsimula ang klase bukas ay hindi ako pinahihintulutan ng oras. Kaya't sa susunod ko na lamang kukumpletuhin ang plano. pati na rin ang matagal ko na dapat naisulat na blog tungkol sa mga bulaklak na kinaibigan ko sa Baguio. :)

oh well. welcome come back to school tomorrow for me. at sa marami pang iba diyan na may pasok na bukas. :D

Hikahos sa Tulog at Antok

Lumang tugtugin na sa isang estudyante ang pagdaing dahil sa kakulangan sa tulog. Kaya't bawat kudlit ng orasan na maaaring ilaan sa pagtulog ay iniingat-ingatan. Tila mga multong gutom sa tulog. Ngunit sa nakalipas na dalawang gabi (at idagdag pa ang gabi ngayon), napagtaniman yata ako ng galit ng diyos ng mga antok. Hindi ko alam kung Insomnia ito, o talagang may mali lamang sa sistema ko.

Sabado nang gabi, buwena mano ng taon, sinubok kong ibalik sa normal na ayos ang aking pagtulog. 10:30pm pa lamang nang humilata na ako sa SOFA (minabuti kong sa sofa matulog nang hindi makapaglikot gaano). Sinuwerte naman at dinapuan agad ako ng antok. Ngunit lumipad na naman ito papalayo nang sumapit ang ala-una nang madaling araw. Pinagpasensyahan ko hanggang alas quatro.

Linggo nang gabi, minabuti kong paunti-unting isaayos ang pagtulog ko. 12am na nang napagdesisyunan kong mahiga sa kama. 12... 1... 2... 2:30am na ako nahimlay sa pagtulog. DALAWANG ORAS akong paikot-ikot sa kama. Napagtripan na ang aso ko sa pagkamot ng tiyan niya habang nakahiga sa sarili niyang unan sa aking tabi (mabuti nang may makinabang sa hindi ko pagtulog).

Lunes nang gabi. 1am nahiga sa kama dahil naisipang hindi pa rin akma ang matulog na kasing-aga ng alas-dose. mag-aalas-tres na ngayon. Pinipilit magpaantok. Masakit na ang batok... -___-

Hindi ito normal. Kung alam niyo lang ang pagkahilig ko sa tulog at antok...

Nyuyir's Resolusyon

Bago pa man ako magsimula sa mga araling-bahay na ibinigay sa amin bago ang panandaliang bakasyon, nais kong sumulat tungkol sa isa sa aking mga naisipang pagbabago ngayong bagong taon, o iyong tinatawag na New Year's Resolution. At upang magkaroon kayo ng ideya kung ano iyon, wari'y pakinggan ang susunod na kanta:



Kung nahulaan ninyo ang aking resolution, bravo! :)) Nais kong gamitin ang wikang Filipino/Tagalog nang madalas sa darating na taon. Naikuwento ko na ito sa isa sa aking mga kaibigan, na tila napapansin ko ang dalas ng aking pagsasalita sa wikang Ingles, dala na rin siguro ng aking mga kaklase sa Ateneo na hindi gaanong bihasa sa pagsasalita sa wikang Tagalog [hi mon and myles :)].
Ito ay hindi dahil pakiramdam ko'y dalubhasa na ako sa paggamit ng wikang Ingles (dahil malayo pa ako roon) kundi dahil tila nahihirapan na ako sa paggamit ng wikang Tagalog sa pormal na pagsulat. Madali lamang gamitin ang katutubong wika sa kumbesasyonal na pananalita, ngunit sa tuwing kinakailangang gumawa ng sanaysay sa Fil14, nawawala na ata ang karunungan ko rito (at aaminin kong kaakibat ko sa pagsulat ng blog na ito ang Google Translate). At hindi ko naman hahayaang tuwing Fil14 lamang ako magtatagalog dahil huling klase na namin ng Filipino ito.
Kaya't susubukan ko ngayong taon (at hindi ko ipinangangako) na higit na dalasan ang pagsulat sa katutubong wika. Napamahal na rin ako sa paggamit nito buhat ng aking magagaling na guro sa Filipino kahit noong nasa mataas na paaralan pa lamang ako. Sina Gng. Becky, G. Martin, G. Allan, at G. JM, malaki ang pasasalamat ko sa inyo.
Sa mga minamahal kong guro (patawarin ninyo sana ako sa paggamit ng inyong mga litrato) sa kolehiyo na sina:

Dr. Alvin Yapan [na talagang ginulo ang takbo ng isip namin sa kaniyang nakababaliw na mga aralin, ang mga plug-and-socket ideas chuchu sa postmodernismo, ang lahat ng mga teoryang lumusaw sa aming mga paniniwala; ginusto kong maging guro dahil sa kaniya, at dahil iniidolo ko siya dahil sa kaniyang mga obrang pelikula],

G. Jethro Tenorio [na hindi ko malilimutan dahil sa pagtutuwid ng aming mga baluktot na Balarila sa pamantasang antas (babawasan ng puntos ang gagamit ng salitang ay, lang, mas, para imbis na upang, at kung anu-ano pa!); hinding hindi ko kalilimutan ang kandutdot at laykotitap years natin, at para sa paborito kong guro, si Jethro... :))] at

G. Ariel Diccion at ang kaniyang batak na katawan [na kahit wala pa sa kalahati ng semestre ang lumipas, pinasakit ang aming mga tiyan sa pagtawa at hindi hinayaang mainip kami sa klase (magkaibigang tunay nga sila ni G. Tenorio); sana'y may mapatunayan din ang klase namin sa inyo ngayon semestre :)],
Ipinamukha ninyo sa akin, sa amin na napakarami pa ng dapat matutunan tungkol sa ating bansa at sa ating wika. Masasabi ko sa aking sarili na isa ako sa mga pinalad pagdating sa mga nakuhang guro sa Fil (at pre-enlisted pa ang klaseng ito; sino pa ang "higit na" susuwertehin pa kaysa sa amin? hahaha). Hindi ko sasayangin ang lahat ng itinuro ninyo sa amin. :)

Kurt Adrian Santiago

New Year's resolution: wala. i'm perfect the way i am. B-) =))))) joke lang.

Friday at 2:00pm ·  ·  · Comment

Joke lamang po talaga 'yan. :)) Sana, matupad ko ang nais kong pagbabago. At sa aking mga kaklase sa kolehiyo, huwag sana kayong B.I. :) :))

Blog Renovation

To the readers, I apologize for not being able to read properly the previous entries on my blog. It is only recently that I discovered how to change the text background on blogspot. :\ and upon changing it, the font color of the previous entries blended or went dull. I shall fix it soon. Apologies to all. :)

Death and Its Perks

On a tombstone:
"Remember man, as you walk by, 
As you are now, so once was I. 
As I am now, so shall you be. 
Remember this and follow me. "

-Anonymous

Unable to find the perfect chemistry with my pillows and sheets last night, I typed on google "sad quotes" and clicked on the first Search Result. hehe, lame hobby, lame google search, but very interesting result. Since when did death become a sad event?

Death is one of the most contorted word, together with love, happiness and joy --I guess no word can escape the contextual abuse in our present generation. Death may mean physical decay, departure from life, or simply, end. I can even die without dying. "I haven't done my homeworks yet; Im dead. I have a huge zit; my social death will kick me off from the cheer squad. Dieeeee zit!" How can death be sad when everyone has experienced their own death without lying in a coffin or being buried six feet under?

But death, being left by a loved one, or just simply being alone because life has to end is undeniably what scares most of us. Death is inevitable. No one has yet discovered a black hole that could be a possible tunnel for escaping death. If death is expected to happen to all of us, why waste a tear for the departed one? If Death slits his scythe on your neck during an unexpected timing, wouldn't it be less of a burden for you that you don't have to wait for Death's welcome party to his lair anymore? Why does the death of another person make us feel more dead than the dead?

I guess it's not death per se that "kills" us. Death and love have their most ironic and maybe undesirable relationship, because it is when the two combine that makes it the saddest thought. The death of a loved one is the period on the fourth line of a five-line essay, and you do not know what to write next. It's not the moment of death that scares us; it is the thought of the coming days without having any clue what will happen now that your loved one has left for good. It is as well the period on your fifth line when you wanted a sixth one to wrap up your thoughts. It is the feeling of regret and dissatisfaction when you haven't checked all that's on your bucket list.

Death is of the corpse, a ceased rotten body, but only the living think of;  It is the living that mourn about death.

But death is the most liberating thing that could ever happen to you. It's not just a period; it's an exclamation point to the essay you yourself have written.  It is only upon it that you free yourself from all the shackles during your earthly life. Death needs not be just about weeping. It's not all about the tears and the lonely days you have to face. Death, if confronted without fear or regret, can be the most rewarding gift for some. It is the finish line that everyone has  to cross, and it's how fast you ran that counts.


Whether or not death is the saddest event on earth, it does not have be feared, for death has its own perks. We, the living, should not look towards Death's direction, not because we are cowards, but because when we soak ourselves in thoughts of dying and succumbing to death no matter what we do, it might be the greatest hindrance for us to live fully. No matter how much we are aware that we are all going to die, it should not stop us from living.

Twelve Degrees of Christmas (part 1)

It was our first time to celebrate Christmas Eve without laying a single dish on our own dining table. For a change, we decided to head up north and have a cold Christmas at Baguio! Two things were considered: our yaya who was in charge for cooking was on leave, and the other, my dad owes me an out-of-town trip. There was no excuse for the trip not to push through. Although it was almost cancelled because viruses were spreading inside the house, my dad couldn't say no to my puss-in-boots watery eyes. @_@

We had a reservation at a hotel near Burnham Park, but as my dad and brother checked the rooms, my dad said nobody could have him lay a finger on those beds. They were dusty and the toilet was rusty. He described the hotel at the grossest way he could. SUPLADO. :)) Good thing my dad cancelled the reservation because we ended up staying in at one of the exclusive hotels in Baguio, The Manor at Camp John Hay. We stayed at the other building, The Suites. It has newer and bigger rooms, but the other amenities such as the spa and the gym were located at The Manor building.

The Hotel's vicinity was perfect for tourists who want a clean and quiet stay at Baguio. If you don't know The Manor Hotel, you probably haven't been to Baguio, or haven't fulfilled your Baguio experience. :>

Since this was my third and most memorable visit to Baguio mainly because I was two and ten during my first two visits, we opted to still visit the usual places visited in Baguio and those that were memorable to us.

Our first stop: Burnham Park. We had our breakfast at The Solibao in front of the park since our reserved rooms were located near the park. It was there that I first fell in love with Baguio flowers. They were everywhere! The happiness you get from seeing them in gardens and parks is incomparable to when you just see them in flower shops. That it is nature that brings forth these natural beauties is what doesn't register to the senses when they're inside malls and shops, arranged and commercialized.

Next stop: in front of our Hotel. hahahaha!! Why go far for shopping when you have stores just meters away from your hotel?!

There were lots of outlet stores (Nike, Adidas, Mango, Sanuks, etc), souvenir shops and restaurants in front of the hotel. The outlet stores had pretty much cheaper prices than regular ones, but the souvenir shops had more expensive items. Bonnets which you can buy 3 for 100 at Mines View were sold at 50 per piece in front of the hotel.

We went around the hotel area and saw some bazaars, but it wasn't what caught our attention. At the back of the hotel was a huge garden where the whole hotel can be seen from. We grabbed the opportunity to change the displayed family picture in our living room. haha!

The weather was really relaxing --sunny and windy.

Then for the second time I suppose I remember, we visited C.I.C.M. seminary where my dad studied back when he was in high school. It was nostalgic for me because I was able to recognize the place even if the last time I happened to be there was almost nine years ago.

(Inasmuch as I would want to add the phrase "back when I was still chubby and fat and short" because I lost a lot of weight throughout those nine years, I could add it no more because I've gained every pound I lost, and because I'm still short. -_-)

My dad posing with my cousin. Gay moments because he's happy. If I don't watch my diet, I think the future is very clear for me. :))

As Noche Buena approached, the temperature decreased. And it was really cozy to be around a huge bonfire for hotel guests. But since almost everyone had just arrived at the hotel, we had the bonfire just for ourselves, 'cause we're cool layk dat. :>

We were literally warmed up for the Noche Buena. And besides the mouth-watering food served at the buffet, what's more endearing is the fact that it was only that moment, after a long time, that we were together as a family celebrating with other families. :)

The hotel food was satisfying, and the hot chocolate was purrfect. Everyone was having their own fun during the night. I think everyone enjoyed Noche Buena as much as we did. :)

That's it for now! I hope everyone had their own moments during Papa Jesus' birthday celebration. ;)

Christmas Wishlist!

'Tis the season to be jolly! And presents make it extra merry! Fa-la-la-la-la~

Christmas Season is in the air and gift-shopping folks are charging up malls and stores wherever we go. And I don't think nobody has made their Christmas wishlist yet! Let's admit it, 'tis the season that gives us that extra think skin and balls to ask for presents from our friends and family. So I've come up with my own set of wishlist, hoping in vain that some saintly reader of my blog would spend from their pockets to buy for me one of the things on my list. Hi friends. :>:>:>

1. Original DVD Copy of My Favorite Movies

For those who don't know, I am a movie person, whether it be mainstream or indie films. I have not yet started on my DVD collection, and receiving a copy of even just one of my favorite movies would be GREATLY appreciated. I also find it difficult to search for copies of the movies I watch. So if somebody gives me Shawshank Redepemption, The Science of Sleep, Jeux d'Enfants, or Pan's Labyrinth, from the bottom of my heart I would kiss and hug you out of sheer gratefulness. Now I know it sounds choosy, but I prefer Original Copies. My keen eyes notice the slightest difference on the quality of the movie, and I make it a point that every movie I watch should be a great experience no matter how sloppy the movie gets.

2. Dog Accessories

My dog is my ultimate baby, and has now become the "Bunso" of the family. My mom never forgets my baby's treats when she's in the grocery, and my dad even goes to Greenbelt to find toys and accessories for him. So I don't mind if people give me gifts for my dog. What's him is mine anyway. :) for those who haven't seen my dog yet...

Additional Photos HERE

3. A Cute Coin Bank

I wonder if this Fanny Bank talks. The "rashes" on one of the buns intrigue me. :D When I was a bit younger, I used to collect coin banks, practically for aesthetic purposes. But since I am to use it for future money collection, having a new coin bank would motivate me in persistent money collection. hahaha

4. Fantasea Line Nikon D60 Underwater Housing

Being new to photography, I want to invest on my photography experience. So why not take it underwater? :>

5. Final Fantasy XIII (PS3)

The last FF I played is FF VIII (PS). I was not even able to finish all the four discs because I thought I was too young to play a complicated love story/RPG. Maybe now's the time to gauge how much maturity I've incurred --that is, maturity in gaming-- since the last time I played this game.

 6. A Fine Planner 

I have never used a planner ever in my life mainly because I find it an extra baggage to write everything on it. It also intimidates me when it dawns on me that everyday of my life is scheduled. I prefer remembering things I have to do by memorizing them than writing it. I'm a lousy and lazy handwrite-r. But due to innumerable tasks and readings to be accomplished, I now try considering the use of it.

7. External Hard Drive

Due to lack of original copies of movies, I resort to torrents. :D and I never thought that it would actually take that much memory on my present external hard drive. Having a new one (with such memory space) would be really really helpful for a movie junkie like me.

8. X-men Headphones (Or any fanciful Headphones for that matter)

And because I envied my blockmate who recently bought a Star Wars Headphones, I kind of wanted one for me, too. :D But since I am an X-men fan, I want mine to be X-men-inspired of course.

9. Children's Bible

I want to be able to read the Holy Bible in a way that it'd be a hands-down read. No matter how intellectual I get from school readings, the Bible is still a hard read for me,  but I don't want it to be the blockage that would stop me from reading it. And since I knew that most of my blockmates started from Children's Bible before reading the "real" bible if I may label it that way, maybe that's what would work for me too. :)

Nobody's too old for a Christmas Wishlist. And if somebody tells me "Ang Pasko ay para sa mga bata," hell I am a kid! Sooooooooo..... any takers of my wishlist? Remember, Santa's watching youuu :>

Nikon Camera Lens Mug

BEHOLD...

It's my newest Camera Lens, the Nikon AF-S 24-70mm f/2.8 G ED! naaaaaaaat. How I wish. :))

That is actually a (real) Nikon lens' replica which you can use for DRINKING! Yes, it's a Camera Lens mug that looks just like the real thing. It's all over Facebook, where I personally knew of it. Good thing an Atenean graduate sells this stuff and does meet-ups inside the campus. Good product, perfect meeting place-- I couldn't say no to getting one for myself!

The mug is a(n almost) carbon copy of this lens:

We all know how much cash you gonna have to spend to buy the real SLR lens, and for amateurs like me who just amuses himself with taking photos, I don't really think buying a camera component as sophisticated as this would be practical and economic. So just to have some disillusionment that I "own" one of these lenses, I decided to buy a much cheaper, deceiving Camera Lens... MUG!

(photo not taken by me)

When I saw this photo on one of my contacts' profile, the kid in me suddenly spewed out. These really look like the real ones, except that you can put water in them, wash them, and throw them in the air without hesitation!!

Prices range from 1200-1700 Pesos per mug, and I've seen some sellers advertising the mugs at a much expensive price. Although it cost me more, I opted to buy the Nikon mug zoomable lens due to personal biases. There are un-zoomable ones, but just to have a bit of animation on my mug, I wanted the one which you can actually do what you do with a real lens-- zoom it!

Mug box

This is the un-zoomed state of the mug

and this is the zoomed one

 Bottom part

Top/Lid of mug

These are some details, on the mug, that resemble really closely the ones on the true lens. 

Another plus side of the mug is the inner steel layer. For a moment, I imagined it having a plastic inner layer. It's scratch-proof and can hold hot beverages.

The mug also comes with a very handy black Nikon mug pouch with a detachable strap.

It's an early Christmas gift for myself, and it just couldn't wait. I'm glad I bought one because it matches my camera perfectly! And although it's pricey, at least I get to experience an exciting disenchantment of having an expensive camera lens. :))

It's a perfect device to trick others that it's a real lens, and turn it into a perfect surprise once you sip your coffee or any drink from it. Just make sure you don't get fooled by your own scheme. You might wash or pour your morning coffee in your real SLR lens, instead of the SLR lens.... mug. :D