Paris and Nicole's Creation Story

Disclaimer: I do not mean to insult anyone or miscommunicate the Bible's preachings. This is purely fictional, and merely a sudden spurt of imagination.


This morning, we were asked to discuss among groups the literal sense and interpretation of the first four chapters of Genesis: The creation story up until Cain and Abel's story. I was lucky enough to have group mates who have active imaginations, and most importantly, who could tolerate mine (haha). After a long and fun discussion of the literal (let me reiterate that) meaning of the two existing creation stories, we had "FUN" talking about the creation and the fall of man.

Our thoughts led to man's naivety, the possible absolute senselessness of good and evil from the beginning or merely having some sense of it but insufficient if we look back at them as if they were unrefined. Then the thought of "were they like blondes?" prompted my contemplation on the Creation Story, Paris and Nicole version (also with the help of my group mates. Thank you Lamberto Lauengco, Aldrin Perez, Justine Sanchez and Chuck Tibayan).

(And again, I don't mean this to be offensive.)


What if Paris and Nicole were the first bff's made on earth?
Whoever was the first one, either way, God would've found it easy to take out a rib from their body.

What could possibly be their reaction when...
They saw each other after creation?
-"Wow, so you're like, a copycat of me? you're the first one i saw today. That's hot"


They talked to the serpent?
-"So you, like, talk like this to everyone else? That's hot"
-"Can you be my pet? like, i'm gonna name you Tinkerbell. Ooooh that's hot"

They saw the fruit of knowledge of  good and bad?
-"Isn't that like, the apple that we ate a while ago? That's hot"


They realized they were naked?
-"Were you naked the whole time we were together? That's hot"


God made leather garments, with which he clothed them?
-"That's hot"


But what could've happened if they ate the fruit of knowledge of good and bad? I think we wouldn't have had to suffer the consequences.

Paris: "But Gooood, we didn't 'eat' eat it. We like, threw it up after we ate it. What's that term again, Nicole? Bulimic? So yeah."
Nicole: "I think I'm gonna throw up already, Paris"
Paris: (we all know what she's gonna say)

How could they possibly procreate?
Let's not go there, shall we?


Soooo... Bulimia could've had its perks, right? :)) I'm sorry, I know it may be offensive or not even funny AT ALL for others. But as they say, when thoughts come about, put it in writing before they flee your minds.

And for everyone who has not yet read the bible or thinks that they know every detail on the bible, try rereading it, now that I know most of us can read it above its literal level. It's Hot. ;)